


Not In That Way

by dancingwithwolves



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingwithwolves/pseuds/dancingwithwolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Sam Smith's ridiculously emotional song: Not In That Way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You will never see through these eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has just stuck with me since the first time I heard this song. It's so beautiful and while my first thought was Blam, I could just hear Elliott singing this. So two-shot for two ships, but it's still mostly a Blam fic. Canon compliant through 5x16 except there is no Samcedes. Also if you read my other fic, I'd Rather Do Hard With You, don't worry, I'm still working on it.

It had been long enough, Kurt told himself. He could go out with Blaine and their friends without things being weird. They’ve been broken up for a couple months and he could honestly say that he felt better about life in general because they finally cut the ties to something that just wasn’t working, precious as it may have been. 

He’d spent nearly every day with Elliott since the dreadful break up, not entirely unlike Blaine who had been attached to his own roommate’s hip. _Blam_ had rekindled their dorky superhero, comic book reading ways and the bromance was in full bloom. 

Good for them, he thought. Blaine needed someone just as much as Kurt did. And luckily for Kurt, he had found the best of friends in Elliott. They sang together, picked out new songs at the music store, and just had great chats about life. Kurt finally felt like he’d found someone in his life that he could just spend time with and just _be_. 

Blaine had said a few months back when he was just half a semester into his coursework at NYADA that he felt like he was competing with Kurt. Well, even after a very grown up discussion and Blaine moving out, they were still in constant competition. So Kurt had been working out and Blaine didn’t like the feeling of not being on top anymore. There wasn’t a whole lot anyone could do to save their relationship. Sure, they loved each other, still do, but sometimes love isn’t enough. 

The flame was gone. The connection that once held them so closely together had disintegrated in front of their very eyes. Living together and spending so much time together had been their downfall. The excitement had fizzled. They didn’t look forward to seeing each other. 

But now, they could still be friends. They had been great friends before that fateful day at Dalton when Blaine leaned over to give Kurt his first real kiss. So they could hang out at their favorite gay bar/karaoke bar/typical NYADA hangout. Dragging Sam and Elliott along was just their way of easing the tension and defusing what could be an awkward situation. 

Who would have guessed that it would be Elliott, not Blaine, who would make the night so awkward? Kurt was jarred when the music picked up and Elliott’s incredible voice filled the room. The slow guitar chords reverberated somewhere deep in his heart. Eyes on him immediately, Kurt understood what the song meant. Somewhere in the midst of all the drama with him and Blaine, Elliott had fallen for him. 

Elliott swallowed hard before shutting his eyes, straining to hit the falsetto. Kurt watched him intently, never once taking his eyes off of his typically easy-going rock star friend. This side of Elliott was something Kurt had only dreamt of seeing. He wasn’t sure that Elliott was even capable of real feelings like this, so Kurt never even entertained the idea, but he knew deep down what their closeness meant. It was very similar to the relationship the two boys on the other side of the table had. Way too close to be nothing, even if those two were completely oblivious. Scratch that, even if Sam was completely oblivious. 

The song was perfect for Elliott’s voice and his glistening eyes only added to the effect he’d had on the crowd. Half of the bar was on their feet cheering when he finished. The loud sounds of his friends clapping jerked Kurt out of the trance he’d been in. Without saying a word to Blaine or Sam, he found himself leaving the table to catch Elliott before he escaped.

“Elliott, wait!” Kurt called after him, jogging to keep up as the taller boy darted down the sidewalk. “Elliott!”

He slowed to a stop and hung his head for a moment before looking up at Kurt when he reached him. “Kurt, I—”

Kurt cut him off with his lips on Elliott’s. “I sincerely hope you were singing that song about me.”

“I tried Kurt. I tried so hard to push the feelings down, especially during your breakup. This isn’t fair, I know. I—”

“Shh.” Their mouths met again. “This doesn’t have to be a sad unrequited love story like the song. We can let Sam and Blaine have that story.”


	2. Believe me, I love you

Sam wasn’t stupid. Well, most people thought he was stupid, but he definitely wasn’t stupid when it came to Blaine. He’d never imagined that he’d know another man even better than he knew himself sometimes, but here he was. 

He had no idea what was going on with Kurt and Elliott, and honestly, he didn’t really care. The frequent glances his way from Blaine’s big hazel eyes were enough to sway his attention to his best friend. He wasn’t stupid. Back in high school he’d caught on to Blaine’s little crush. Sam found it totally flattering, because, come on, Sam was pretty hot. All those sit-ups and bicep curls weren’t for nothing. 

Blaine looked at Sam then like someone might look at a really cute puppy that they’d want to adopt and just cuddle with. It was innocent and cute; and really, Sam was totally flattered. 

Things had changed a bit since high school, but only in the good ways. He and Blaine were even closer. When Kurt and Blaine had one of their first real blowout fights, Nightbird needed a rescue and the Blond Chameleon was just the guy to do it. He and Blaine had rented a tiny two-bedroom apartment just north of Bushwick. It was so much fun. Blaine read Marvel fanfiction to him before bed and they had superhero movie marathons all the time. And then the infamous Klaine broke up. Blaine was pretty upset for a while, but with tons of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Steven Spielberg marathons, he’d gotten over it. The two past lovers were even navigating the treacherous waters of being friends again. 

But now, things were different. Sam agreed to go out with his best gay bros because he loved them, even Elliott, and he wanted to have a good time. He expected a little tension between Kurt and Blaine, but that was nothing compared to everything Elliott was laying on the line now. And the fact that Blaine’s puppy dog eyes reflected every word of Elliott’s song was not lost on the _stupid_ blond boy. 

_And I hate to say I need you_   
_I'm so reliant_   
_I'm so dependent_   
_I'm such a fool_

_When you're not there_   
_I find myself singing the blues_   
_Can't bear_   
_Can't face the truth_

He felt Blaine’s eyes on him again, for about the third time. The first time Blaine had looked over, Sam had glanced back. It had been a mistake. Sam assumed Blaine was just communicating the way bros who know each other inside and out do, with just their facial expressions. He’d expected thick raised eyebrows and wide eyes that said, _Oh my gosh, Elliott is in love with Kurt._ But no, instead he’d gotten huge sad eyes. Sam had gotten a glimpse of Blaine’s soul just in that split second; if that was even a possible thing, he wasn’t sure. 

_You will never know that feeling_   
_You will never see through these eyes_

Sam wasn’t entirely sure if Blaine was just awful at hiding his feelings or he was trying to get Sam to take a hint. Sam certainly got the hint. Blaine had it bad and he was hurting. And that absolutely killed him.

_I'd never ask you_   
_Cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say_   
_You'd say I'm sorry_   
_Believe me_   
_I love you_   
_But not in that way_

Sam felt awful. Kurt and Elliott had gone off somewhere to talk when the Glitter Rock Vampire finished his incredibly depressing song. 

“Do you want to just go home? This is kind of weird now that all that happened.” Sam raised his eyebrows expectantly at Blaine. 

Blaine just exhaled and nodded. The whole way back to their tiny apartment Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty. It’s not like Sam hadn’t thought about it before. He thought about it in high school and he won’t lie; he was a little bummed when Kurt and Blaine got back together. It had caused Sam and Blaine to drift and Sam really missed his best friend. He was also pretty aware of how Blaine made him feel like nothing was missing from his life. Before Blaine moved in, Sam had just been moping along. New York was big and scary and totally not Sam’s style. Not until Blaine had taken him out and really showed him what the city could be for the two of them. 

Once they moved in together, everything fell into place for Sam. He’d gotten a modeling job, he was making money, and he had his best friend to hang out with every night when they got home. It was perfect, almost. Blaine still spent tons of time with Kurt, well, tons of time fighting with Kurt. Sam saw the pain etched on his face every time he’d come home. Finally, the final straw had broken the donkey’s back or whatever. His gay bro and his almost actual brother had broken up. That had been the beginning for Blaine and Sam. Well, in Sam’s mind anyway. 

But now the look on Blaine’s face scared him. The blond boy was afraid that maybe their friendship had reached its peak. Was being friends with Sam enough for Blaine? Flattered as he was by Blaine’s crush, he never wanted it to jeopardize their incredible bromance. 

Sam glanced at Blaine. He was a mere foot and a half away, only separated by the foldout center console in the backseat of the cab. Sam’s stomach fluttered as he watched the sad hazel eyes gaze out the window at the twinkling city.

He wasn’t sure that he wanted that crush to be gone. Of course he was flattered, but the incessant butterflies lately were telling of something more. Can dudes crush on their bros without being gay? Sam wasn’t sure of that either. He wasn’t gay, per say. He had been a stripper, so obviously he knew what attractive men looked like. He’d worked along side them and he appreciated any good-looking human—man or woman. And Blaine was so handsome, always so well put together and oozing optimism, something Sam found incredibly attractive in a person. But he also found girls incredibly appealing, with long sexy hair and mouth watering curves. He held his head in a hand that he’d propped up on the door of the cab. His brain felt like mush. 

What little he knew about bisexuality really only came from the two bisexual people he’d ever known—Brittany and one of his fellow strippers, Mark. Brittany was the kind of person who saw everyone as souls. There weren’t many people she didn’t find attractive and she loved freely and openly. Mark was a little different. He clearly saw men and women for what they were and he did have preferences, but ultimately would fall for the person inside. Maybe Sam was like them. He’d always seen some similarities between himself and his ex-girlfriend. Or maybe Sam was different. Maybe it was just Blaine. His head continued to spin. The cab stopped in front of their building. 

Blaine nudged Sam and their eyes met again. “You going to get out buddy?”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry.” 

Climbing up the four flights of stairs that were usually nothing seemed like a mountain tonight. Blaine trudged up a few steps in front of him seeming as worn out as Sam felt. Sam caught himself watching Blaine. It wasn’t really anything new for him; he watched Blaine all the time. The way Blaine moved was mesmerizing to the blond. He always seemed to bounce on the balls of his feet, ready for action. Sometimes when he walked, he sort of crisscrossed one foot in front of the other making him sway as if he were some sort of dreamy, wispy, magical creature. So maybe Sam did think about Blaine a lot more than a normal bro might. 

But the fear was still there. He was a whole lot less afraid of getting hurt than he was of hurting Blaine. Blaine has been through too much with losing Kurt and being bullied for being gay and basically losing his dad because of his sexuality; he didn’t want to be another person to hurt him or abandon him. He cared about him way too much. What if it was all just a phase and he’d find out that he couldn’t even be sexually attracted to Blaine? Which, if he was honest, wasn’t really a possibility considering how many times he had thought about Blaine that way. But still, what if? What if it was just a super intense bromance that would never really be a romance?

“You okay?” Those hazel eyes peered at him as he unlocked the door. 

“Yeah, I’m just…I’m gonna go to bed. See you in the morning man.”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” Blaine sounded rejected already. And it was a gut-wrenching sound. Sam had to figure it out. 

He laid in bed for nearly an hour, tossing and turning, dreaming up every possible outcome for how this conversation could go, before he couldn’t take it any longer. Sam crept out into small hallway, if you’d even call it that, that separated their bedrooms. Blaine never completely shut his door, always making himself available for Sam. Sam tiptoed into the dark bedroom and tried to make out Blaine’s sleeping figure. 

He wasn’t asleep. Sam could tell from the sound of Blaine breathing. Gently, he perched on the edge of the bed and stayed there until he felt a tug on his arm. 

“Lay down.” Blaine said softly. There was something about being in the small dark room. The streetlights made random orange patches of light on the walls and they could hear the occasional car drive by. Sam didn’t know what to say or where to start. His heart was pounding. His breath hitched when he felt Blaine’s hand on his. He squeezed Sam’s clenched fist lightly until he relaxed and let the brunet boy draw tiny circles on his palm. 

“Do you…” Sam started but trailed off. He bit down on his bottom lip trying to work up the nerve. Blaine said nothing but moved closer to Sam, making his brain turn to even more mush. He shouldn’t have come in here. “What did you think about Elliott’s song?”

There. Simple enough. The question was innocent enough.

“It was really beautiful.” Blaine’s voice came out as nothing more than a whisper. “It was beautifully tragic. I hope they can see how great they’d be together.”

“So you’re okay with them together?”

“Of course. Kurt deserves to be happy.”

Sam swallowed hard and took a chance. “You, um, didn’t seem very happy when he was singing it. It wasn’t because of Kurt potentially moving on?”

He felt Blaine physically recoil and withdraw. That was enough of an answer without the next few words out of Blaine’s mouth. “No. Maybe I’ve felt that way too. You know, how Elliott feels.”

Blaine sounded small and sad, almost childlike. Sam’s been there. Unrequited love always stung. He stared up at the dark ceiling unsure of what to do next. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, but the fear took over again. It paralyzed him there in Blaine’s bed. The bed of the boy he so desperately wanted to take in his arms and kiss the pain away.

“Do you feel that way now?” Sam’s voice cracked, thick with unspoken truths. 

Blaine pulled further away and sighed, but said nothing. Sam chewed on his lip and blindly reached for Blaine’s hand again. They laid in silence before the tension became unbearable. 

Sam rolled to his side so he could see the brunet. Silent tears sparkled in those hazel eyes. “Blaine…” He breathed, wrapping him up in his arms. 

The shorter boy shuddered at the contact but melted into Sam’s chest. They clung to each other. Sam held on tight as Blaine’s tears soaked his skin. They clung to every last bit of friendship they had. Something had changed tonight and nothing had changed at all. They were the same two people they were when the night started. Sam could feel his own throat growing tight with emotion. Tears stung the back of his eyes. Blaine’s arms hooked under Sam’s and he tangled his fists into his hair. Sam held on as he let Blaine feel. He let him feel all of the emotions the other boy had pushed down for so long. Sam’s heart raced as he felt his own emotions wash over him in a way that he hadn’t allowed before.

Finally, Blaine looked up at Sam, eyes flickering to his lips then back to the green eyes. Taking the hint, Sam leaned down and pressed his soft lips to Blaine’s. 

Blaine clung to Sam in response, his lips moving desperately against Sam’s. All of the fear washed over both of them, the unspoken doubts and disbeliefs settled around them. Sam pulled back, hovering over Blaine, to see a wide, watery pair of hazel eyes searching his face. When Sam didn’t run away, the corners of Blaine’s mouth quivered ever so slightly forming the faintest of smiles. There was still a lot to figure out, but the relief that hit Sam solidified his feelings. He could never hurt Blaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I want to give them a happier ending, I wanted so badly for this to reflect the song. The pain and longing in the song is beautiful, but I obviously wasn't about to write anything where they didn't end up together.


End file.
